Why would a woman stay with a man who was a child molester?
This is a question I usually get from family members of women who are married to child molesters.
Especially their now adult children.
While it seems simpler to encourage her to say some version of “he is a molester get him out of your life,” it’s often not so easy to do.
Even for women who are healthy, have had careers, made a good wage and have the resources to fend for themselves, the decision to leave is not necessarily all that easy. Though they may know how to make their own way in the world and aren’t dependent upon him to define their lives, there can be many other issues and concerns that lead her to decide to stay.
Illness, religious beliefs, financial limitations, pressure from family or friends for her to give him another chance, his belief that he will never do it again, can influence her decision to stay or go.
Especially when the woman involved is older, in ill health, or there isn’t a lot of money. She may well believe that there is nothing she can do, she can’t make it on her own, she doesn’t want to live with her children, and doesn’t really know how to manage living independently.
Staying or going is never a cut and dried process. Most women and their molesting man will take a long time to reconfigure their relationship and their living arrangements.
And often brings as much upset and pain to other family members, especially their children, as they themselves feel as they are sorting it out.
If you are in the midst of struggling with making sense of what happens when you discover your husband, friend or family member has been molesting children, be sure to pick up your copy of Stop Child Molestation Book. It is research based and has lots of information for how to cope, how to help your child, and what makes molesters do what they do.